I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
why is half of my head shaved?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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