he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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