I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
