Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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