Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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