i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
