FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
