I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
