I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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