First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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