I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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