Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
