he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
