So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
