They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
