my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We left an ass print on the piano.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize