Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
