FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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