saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
