At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
