I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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