they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
