this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
