My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize