she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
