Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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