SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
