Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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