its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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