I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
