thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Four minutes until I can fart!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
