They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
