haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
