its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
