so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
