Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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