On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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