I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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