don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
