don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
