Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i think my cat just said my name.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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