my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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