I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
