i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
