the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
