I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize