I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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