We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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