he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
