but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
