Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize