i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
