i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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