I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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