btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
where are you?
Hypothermia
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
