So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
