is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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