Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
