Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
